Men cheat because they can.
Five Words. Six Syllables. Twenty-two letters, all in a deceptively simple statement that just may rock your world. I have accepted this statement as a personal belief on the strength that it sounds good, does not require much thought, and is fairly punctuating when used in conversation, therefore protecting me from those who could ask me to explain my opinion for open discussion (attack). I really do not enjoy having my ideals questioned. Though I have been described as well-spoken and efficient at expressing myself with the written word, few people can know just how insecure I am in dialogue about those truths in whose belief I feel can not be limited just to words. I also have issue with having someone argue well enough that I believe I could be wrong. (I am not so dense as to believe I am right about everything, but I would rather my beliefs organically grow in my maturity rather than instigated by the holes poked in my arguments by another.)
I set out writing a piece on cheating with a few things in mind: 1) I honestly believe there are some men who just HAVE to cheat. 2) Almost all of my relationships/interactions with members of the opposite sex include 'cheating residue' of some sort. 3) Men and Women cheat in completely different ways and for completely different reasons.
I reached out for men to informally 'interview' via twitter...then just DM'ed, "Facebooked" and sent text messages to men with whom I have shared a wide range of interaction. I greatly appreciated the insight afforded by a fairly recent ex-boyfriend, a young urban professional with whom I have shared a blurred line friendship/sexual relationship for years, a recently married friend from college, a recently engaged friend from my hometown, a few twitter followers, distant cousins and a "former" sexual partner who is also a former professional athlete.
Upon my initial 'research' I found my subjects to be very cooperative and surprisingly articulate in sharing their thoughts and experiences in such a personal and potentially embarrassing conversation. I immediately recognized the answers I received were so irrefutably genuine that I became extremely excited (Well, until my ex realized that I was back in Atlanta and started trying to say all the right things.) *insert blank, wide-eyed stare here* O_O
Quietly...the world rumbled the closer I came to my climax of epiphany (Ok...sorry...it's been 3 months since my last orgasm now...and...I got a little excited). I started writing a piece to give women an insider's look into why men cheat, and found, instead the little truths that follow (among others):
1) All men have the potential to cheat, and All men have the ability to control urges to cheat. 2) EVERY single one of my relationships and MOST of my interactions with members of the opposite sex involve some level of cheating residue, and 3) Men and WOMEN cheat for all the same reasons, in the same ways...but have differing levels of honesty with their reasoning (And the more honest of the two parties would probably be surprising to 99% of women.)
I set out writing a piece on cheating with a few things in mind: 1) I honestly believe there are some men who just HAVE to cheat. 2) Almost all of my relationships/interactions with members of the opposite sex include 'cheating residue' of some sort. 3) Men and Women cheat in completely different ways and for completely different reasons.
I reached out for men to informally 'interview' via twitter...then just DM'ed, "Facebooked" and sent text messages to men with whom I have shared a wide range of interaction. I greatly appreciated the insight afforded by a fairly recent ex-boyfriend, a young urban professional with whom I have shared a blurred line friendship/sexual relationship for years, a recently married friend from college, a recently engaged friend from my hometown, a few twitter followers, distant cousins and a "former" sexual partner who is also a former professional athlete.
Upon my initial 'research' I found my subjects to be very cooperative and surprisingly articulate in sharing their thoughts and experiences in such a personal and potentially embarrassing conversation. I immediately recognized the answers I received were so irrefutably genuine that I became extremely excited (Well, until my ex realized that I was back in Atlanta and started trying to say all the right things.) *insert blank, wide-eyed stare here* O_O
Quietly...the world rumbled the closer I came to my climax of epiphany (Ok...sorry...it's been 3 months since my last orgasm now...and...I got a little excited). I started writing a piece to give women an insider's look into why men cheat, and found, instead the little truths that follow (among others):
1) All men have the potential to cheat, and All men have the ability to control urges to cheat. 2) EVERY single one of my relationships and MOST of my interactions with members of the opposite sex involve some level of cheating residue, and 3) Men and WOMEN cheat for all the same reasons, in the same ways...but have differing levels of honesty with their reasoning (And the more honest of the two parties would probably be surprising to 99% of women.)
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