Coming Off The Bench: Valentine’s Day Edition 1.1

So the word on the street is...the Side Bitch ain't gettin' NO LOVE on Valentine's Day. Men are even feeding into that lie...Oh, "my side bitches get NO CONTACT on VALENTINE'S DAY WHATSOEVER" and "IF I get her ANYTHING, it will be like, some flowers sent to her JOB or something" or "I'll give it to her the day before or after"...February 14th is THE PREMIER MAIN CHICK HOLIDAY in America. Oh, I saw the tweets yesterday and this morning..."Happy Side Chick Day" for February 13...and those #Youasidechick tweets. Here's the thing…I've been the Side Chick...and those tweets don't offend me...because I KNOW the REAL DEAL. When I read those messages, I don't see jabs in my direction...instead...I see a hurt female lashing out because she's feeling the not-so-pretty symptoms of Woman on the Side syndrome...only difference is if you are a primary, secondary, or tertiary sufferer.

"Hurt Bitches" out here in the social networking sphere are having difficulty accepting the truths that are being revealed by February 14th. Some are finally having to face that they do not have a Boyfriend, though they have been playing the part of The Girlfriend for the past few months. I don't understand your specific circumstances (if you want to fill me in and get some questions answered, you can hit me up at makingsexsense@gmail.com) but I have heard it's easier getting the truth from a stranger...and...if you are out in the world and don't know what’s going on? I'm certain...you don't know me...

Depending on your age bracket, you've been listening to people telling you the tell-tale signs of being the Side Chick/Jump-off/whatever you call it...but THIS day, above the other 364 (this year 365) days will really shine a light on your double lives. There is some poor heaux out there who knows that the man in her life has a main chick, but she over-estimated her value in his life. And there is DEFINITELY a Main Chick out there who was sure that he was going to be home...with her...even though they just argued last night because she just knew he was going out for Happy Side Chick Day. And there is a female out there who thought because she was having sex with a dude, that she was more than just a piece of Ass (she ain't get SHIT though).

It has always been my experience that when a man cares, and knows you care about Valentine's Day...you WAKE UP to your gifts. I understand there are men out in the world who are unable to deliver on February 14th due to time constraints, or maybe their job...but if he can get to you on the day of the holiday, HE WILL. Point... blank...PERIOD. If you got your gift the day before, and haven't heard from him since, he is not EXPECTING to give you time on VDay. He knows EXACTLY what today is...and it's not like it's a personal holiday so he can easily forget...unless you've shot him that bullshit before that you don't care about holidays (MEN LISTEN TO WHAT YOU SAY...NOT WHAT YOU MEAN...SO IF YOU'VE EVER TOLD HIM THAT LIE, YOU CAN'T BE MAD WHEN HE FOLLOWS WHAT YOU SAID).

The bottom line is this: There IS a reason a Main Chick is the main woman in a man's life...there is some commitment, some responsibility that he must respect, so it is TRUE that SHE determines how this day goes. BUT...and a BIG BUT: If the girlfriend/wife/whatever leaves ANY OPPORTUNITY for him to slide out to spend some time with the women on the side...HE IS GOING TO USE IT. The fact that a man has to determine what gift to get the chick on the side...speaks to the real truth: SHE MEANS SOMETHING TO HIM. I'm not saying that a man is going to do ANYTHING out of the way just for a chick he sticks his dick in every now and then...THAT BITCH probably is NOT getting love on Valentine's Day...but that Side Chick? TRUST AND BELIEVE...that chick is DEFINITELY getting some attention...she has a position in his life as well...and he wants to keep her. She may be AWARE of the relationship he has with the Main, but I promise you HE'S not the one keeping himself honest. If there is ANY CHANCE that he can tell her he's not with his Old Lady, or things are NOT going well at home...he's telling her. He's SHOWING her that he cares. Her gift...is probably very similar to the one the Main Chick is getting...He spent at least the morning with her...and Don't Let the Main Chick be working tonight...because he'll be back with the Side as soon as he can.

I'm not going to shoot some shit to y'all about "Signs you're the Side on Valentine's Day" because...I hope it’s obvious enough...just try to occupy his time today...and you'll get your proof. BUT...look at the bright side...Today will also let you know if it is a waste to go out and find that choice piece of beef for Steak and BJ Day (March 14th). You know ONE dude that will not have you cooking dinner for him and will not get any of YOUR MOUTH LOVE...(even though...he probably has other options for that anyway...) I'm just saying.

LOVE YOURSELF...KNOW YOURSELF...and PLEASE DON'T SEND ANY GIFTS TO YOURSELF at your job...because that is pathetic as fuck. *SMOOCHES*