Love Advice Lies: "Whoever cares the least..."

The statement that "whoever cares the least in the relationship has the power" is a fucking lie.  Yes...it is also a lie that I have told to other women when giving them advice...and one to which I can admit and continue to maintain that I am honest...especially with my advice and in my writing...THIS IS AN EXERCISE IN PEDAGOGY.  I know what I'm about to say is going to seem really ironic (since...I'm writing a book for this shit) but NO ONE SHOULD HAVE TO READ A BOOK OR A BLOG TO LEARN HOW TO LIVE THEIR LIFE.  I give a lot of advice on the topic of love, and dating...and I try to explain these topics in such a way that the lesson will be learned, hopefully adopted into my mentee's consistent practice, and therefore becomes a behavior versus an act...but I see that people (especially women) who obviously don't "get it" so LOVE to give the advice using banalities without having the "meat" of the message behind the cliche...and THIS...is a problem-causing issue in and of, itself. 

The real message is "IF YOU LOVE AND RESPECT YOURSELF, AND MAINTAIN YOUR OWN HAPPINESS AS A PRIORITY, YOUR PARTNER WILL RECOGNIZE THAT AND DO THE SAME, OR THEY WILL NOT BE IN YOUR LIFE," but that has no chance of fitting in 140 characters or less. 

I can't tell y'all that though...because it's not enough.  That little statement up there...is really my ENTIRE book...all 12-18 chapters...thats really all I'm saying...but...the type of people who go out and spend $14.95 on a paperback from the relationship section of Barnes and Noble don't want to just read that...they want people like me to spend 15 pages on fake orgasms, and 27 pages on how to know if he's mad and at least 50 pages on how to get over an ex...

So...here's the meat:

1. If the person in your life really doesn't care about your thoughts and your feelings...ACTING like you don't care will NOT make them care. 

2.  The pursuer in the relationship (male OR female) is starting from a place of desire...not a place of disadvantage.

3.  Courtship is the period of time which results in both parties coming to a similar, if not equal, place of desire for each other.  The best situation, and usually the most successful of relationships come from both people caring the same, even if in different ways.  

All advice must be personalized for the person who is receiving it.   The type of people I tell to try to "care the least" are the type of people who really don't spend enough time looking at the other person through the filter of "Do I really like you? Do you have the qualities I appreciate and desire in a partner? Can you handle the responsibilities of life with me?"  These are the people who get so excited about having someone like them, that they don't take a breather to see if they like the other person too. 

It takes time to really get to know someone...and trying not to care SO QUICKLY lets you see the other party through eyes that are not influenced by internally placing THEM on this pedestal.  The issue that we find from not taking the time to court THE PERSON over THE REPRESENTATIVE is found when you find that YOU taking THEIR fall from that pedestal harder than the fall was for them.