Man 101 Lesson 1: "I don't want a relationship"

     I would normally not start with such an advanced phrase in Man-Speak, but I started this series via special circumstances for one of my followers on twitter (@Kris_Ae).  There have been those who 'fake the funk' that they speak Man, and have translated the phrase "I don't want a relationship" to mean "I don't want a relationship [with you]."  This is where understanding more than the language of Man is enhanced by a deeper understanding of the male human.

     Courtship is usually facilitated by attraction on the most basic of levels...PHYSICAL.  Within the first few seconds of meeting someone, you have pretty clear indication on whether you want to know what they feel like naked.  Anyone who says otherwise is a fucking lie.  Of course, for a lot of (probably most) men, the initial, most immediate goal is to have sex.  It may not be the only...but it's still there...it is the simplest endgame response to the chemical reaction going off in his brain when he notices your curves, your smile, how good your hair is smelling...a symphony of senses ultimately combining to trigger blood flow into his penis.

     If you can turn on a man physically and mentally...you are in the wheels...Fuck the 90-day Rule...that's all bullshit.  You can have sex on the 1st night or the 10th night, and if you have nothing which piques his interest, he can still hit and run.  If a man wants to spend time with you, get to know you, and is really invested...you can have a relationship.  I will post more about this in the future...no worries.  If you have to ASK a man what you are...you're already in a fucked up position. Of course men want relationships...it has nothing but potential positives in a man's life.  Studies have shown that committed men live longer, have less occurrences of chronic illnesses, and much healthier stress levels.  There is someone willing to laugh at his jokes, maybe cook for him, and CONSISTENTLY FUCK HIM...COME ON...who doesn't want that?!?

     In true Man-Speak, "I don't want a relationship" translates into "Bitch, you fucked up."  Think about it...when you first meet someone, usually there's a lot of smiling, and flirting and laughter...and without much "thought" your hand ends up resting on his knee for almost a WHOLE 10 seconds...some hair flips...you look into each others eyes.  There's constant text messages and calls...you have fun.  You don't have to think about whether or not he's into you because he is making it known.  If a man wants to be with you, it is going to be obvious.  He may act slightly aloof because he doesn't want you to think he's too "thirsty" but he's talking to you all the same.  He is pursuing something with you.  You are starting to feel the way you feel because he's not pursuing you anymore.WOMEN decide what direction interaction goes.

MAN TRUTH #1:  A man makes known his interests and desires to the woman he wants.

     There are many different ways you could have fucked up.  Maybe you showed that you were too desperate for attention, opening the doubts that you could be the crazy stalker type, or you don't have any self-worth.  A man is going to pursue you until he gets to see what you have going on.  Maybe, you did too much and gave him too much of your attention too easily.  If you start pulling out ALL your "I'm WIFEY TYPE" moves at the beginning, its an easy assumption that you do that for EVERY man who shows you some attention...Men want to feel special too.  Men want to feel like they are ACCOMPLISHING something in winning you over.  Either way...when a man wants more, and feels like you want more too...he will let you know.  When a man is comfortable with the knowledge that he "has you" what is the point in trying to get you anymore?  Men don't sit around thinking "I want a relationship now...and this is what I'm looking for" the same way so many women do.  HOWEVER, when things slow down or aren't going so well...and you start forcing him to think about it...he gets the time to realize..."This bitch just ain't it" and when THAT happens...it doesn't matter how well you ride it...or if you try to suck the brown off...you become relegated to the back burner. Even if he DID NOT want a relationship in the beginning...if you were the type that made him notice that he doesn't want to lose something good in you (BECAUSE YOU MADE HIM WORK TO SEE THAT WORTH) then he will do WHATEVER he has to do to hold on to it.

MAN TRUTH #2:  If you have to question if a man wants to be with you, and values you as something he doesn't want to lose, the answer is usually NO.

Stop listening to your miserable, forever single and searching for a man, female friends.  They really don't know shit.  Why did he date the next girl and post pictures with her on their dates on Facebook?  Why are they going on trips to the Dominican Republic?  Because she didn't fuck up.  She didn't let him think that she was on lock.  There are a select few women out there who may be feeling like Good Luck Chuck...y'all are a little different.  You probably made that man feel like he could never get you to settle down...he couldn't be sure that if he wifed you, you'd be a secure investment.  You never let him know that he could "have you."  Opposite spectrum points, but the same result.  You Fucked up.   At some point on the path down "I see potential for something with you" some red flags started appearing...you kept talking about your roadkill ex-boyfriend...you started with some stalker shit...maybe stared too long at his phone ringing on the nightstand...signs of drama.